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Gretchen Shanks, Gretchen Shanks Coaching



Gretchen Shanks

Sex and Dating Coach

As a sex and dating coach, I love working with women who rock their professional lives but struggle in their intimate relationships, because that used to be me! Until my early 40s, I’d had only had sex a handful of times and felt undesirable, unattractive, and completely cut off from my sexuality. Years of talk therapy couldn’t shift the beliefs I had about myself. Then I got help from an intimacy coach and somatic bodyworker. I reset my body image issues and learned to confidently tap into my sexy side. I began to approach dating, sex, and all of my relationships with greater ease and pleasure.

Now I get great satisfaction helping others rewrite their stories around sex, intimacy, dating, and relationships. Regardless of what your relationship goals are – monogamous marriage, polyamory, more and better intimacy in your current relationship, a single life with lots of dating fun, or anything in between – I’m excited to help you get there!

My work is experiential and based on the Somatica(R) methodology. Somatic simply means of the body – I practice a very experiential and practical method grounded in the body.

My work emphasizes embodied mindfulness, being vulnerable and empathetic in our connections with others, and the importance of moving beyond shame (the shame we feel about our bodies, our sexuality, and about how we show up in relationships).

My work is relational – rather than sitting across from my clients as a dispassionate “expert”, I bring my emotional vulnerability and erotic sensibilities into the room with my clients, so they can learn and grow from those connections. I share my own challenges and continued growth journey, so clients understand they don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and connection, that they’re lovable just as they are in all of their imperfections. If we can be real with ourselves and our partners about our struggles, then we deepen intimacy in the midst of that imperfection.

Through our work together you’ll learn: – skills to communicate what you want, both emotionally and sexually – how to identify and communicate your needs and boundaries – how to access your erotic energy and share it (or not) with others – to mitigate and manage nerves and anxiety that can creep up when you’re first meeting people or trying to be vulnerable with them – to understand your erotic inner life better, and the skills that go along with it, in order to create the kinds of connections that truly excite you!


How to book: Email me

Services offered:

  • Individual coaching
  • Small group discussion circles
  • Wing-woman at events





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